I was eighteen, and had just finished High School, when I decided to have surgery for my uncontrolled epilepsy. My childhood was spent in a very remote town in the Gulf country of Queensland, where I knew most of the people, and felt very secure and accepted, despite my epilepsy. However when I went to boarding school for my secondary education, it was a different story. I had few friends, and felt very alone, and different. I had frequent seizures, despite trying many different medications, and my memory was badly affected. My self esteem, confidence and quality of life were all very poor, due mainly to uncontrolled seizures. When surgery was suggested as a possible cure for this, my family and I were very keen to go ahead as soon as possible with it.

The surgery- a right temporal lobectomy- was done in Sydney, at the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital. I looked forward to a new ‘seizure free’ life. It was very exciting, and went well. I left hospital after seven days, and with my mum and dad, we began the long drive back to Queensland. However, on the way back I became ill, had a lengthy seizure, and ended up back in hospital in Sydney, where they discovered a haemorrhage at the operation site, from a clot, and a staph infection. After recovering, we flew home and I had no more seizures.

However a year later, the joy of being seizure free ended, in devastating disappointment, when I had a seizure. I was living in Brisbane at this stage, and was unemployed for the next couple of years. I had no formal training, couldn’t get a job, and felt lonely and unhappy.

Eventually, I realised if I was ever to have a chance of a career, or job, I needed some real skills, and training, so I took a number of courses, including TAFE certificate in office and administration, a certificate in MYOB, Train the Trainer course at TAFE, Diploma in Business and Accounting at TAFE, and several others, as well as gaining a traineeship in the Public service for six months. All this, and my new skills, plus sporadic work, built up my motivation and self esteem- which had been totally lacking before. I now believed in myself. I knew I had good training, and was skilled and capable, and a worthwhile employee. At boarding school I had no confidence or self esteem at all.

Despite all this, I still lost jobs at times, because of my epilepsy. Perhaps the big turning point for me, was at the age of twenty four, when I finally accepted that I was a person with epilepsy, which would probably never completely go away. I realised I had just better get on with my life, and people would have to accept my as I am.

I have been in my present job for about eighteen months, and am very happy here. I work for a community based organisation, and my colleagues are all very supportive. I have a large pleasant office, and do all the accounts, bookkeeping, and general administration. It’s full time, full on, and often quite demanding, but I know I can do it, and do it well. All the training and experience I have had in the past has equipped me for it well.

I am now on Tegretol and Lamictil. They control my epilepsy quite well, but I still have a couple of seizures a year, though they are only partial ones, where I do not lose awareness. I find heat and stress are triggers, so I try to stay cool, calm and happy, and deal with the stress in my life as best I can. I do enjoy an occasional alcoholic drink, and this does not seem to effect me.

My partner Greg and I have been together for some years now, and I feel secure and happy with this relationship. I don’t see my epilepsy being any sort of bar to marriage and children. I did have other boyfriends who didn’t understand about my epilepsy, but I think it is important to tell someone fairly soon when you start going out with them about your condition. It’s also important for them to know that epilepsy is only a very small part of who you are.

I like to be independent as much as I can. I drive now, and Greg and I love to get out of town on weekends, camping, fishing and riding trail bikes. I can drive because even though I still have occasional seizures I am aware of them, and get funny sensations in my stomach and my throat. Often I can make them go away, by saying affirmations, or thinking about something else. My other interests include tapestry, cross stitch, and ribbon embroidery.

My life now is really good, and I am happy. How did I get from being depressed, unemployed, and despairing, when I realised the surgery had not cured my epilepsy, to where I am now? Well I think there are a number of reasons.