Teenage boys can be difficult- though he was basically a good kid- but he just wanted to do all the things his peers were doing, and he certainly didn’t want his mother telling him all the time to take his medication, don’t drink, take care of yourself, etc. Well he had a lot of big seizures, and he did hurt himself quite a lot. He also used to upset his younger brother, so I think epilepsy can have an effect on the whole family. As a boy in his late teens, he certainly didn’t want his mother going into the shower when he had a seizure in there and fell down, so it was his younger brother who had to go in and look after him at those times.

I can understand that its particularly difficult for a young otherwise strong and healthy man, to accept he has to be careful, he has to take medication twice a day, he can’t drive, he can’t surf, or swim by himself. Maybe his young brother thought I babied Mark too much, and that also made him a bit resentful. For years, we all lived on edge, we were constantly anxious, always waiting for a phone call in case something had happened to him.

However today, Mark is twenty-nine, and doing well. He works a long way from home, has a good job, and seems to have his seizures under control. He is still on medication but I presume he now realises if he wants to be seizure free, he needs to take it properly. I think the turning point for me, was when, after a few years, I really couldn’t handle the daily nagging and worry anymore, and I went away for a while, and told Mark it was up to him now- HE was the one who would have to take responsibility for his epilepsy, his health, and his wellbeing- because I was no longer going to do it.