Chips and Chocolate Days...

By Karen

How to have guilt free, self indulgent days without worrying about your waistline…… sound to good to be true?? Well stick around and I will tell you how.

Firstly I would like to tell you about some very domineering influential friends who had come into my life. They were the kind of influences I always seemed to attract, even when I didn’t want to. They kept coming into my house and annoying and bothering me. I never invited them and they always seemed to turn up to hassle me when I was at my most vulnerable and when I was having a dreadful time coping.

When my marriage broke up I was in a very bad way. I was depressed, suicidal, uncounselled and traumaised over the birth of two very tiny sick babies. (I was expecting only one at twenty six weeks I gave birth to twins. We all nearly lost our lives.) I was a single mum caring for two special needs children, one of whom had extremely high needs and difficult behavourial problems.

I had tried just about everything to get rid of the pain and grief…nothing seemed to work.

Times were tough. As a Christian I tried to be part of my local mainstream church but found that they would launch into a form of biblical counselling that would go right over my head, and because I couldn’t grasp and fully understand what they were saying to me, I would feel guilty that the reason for my sons special needs was because “I had sin in my life”. Then I was introduced to a Penticostal church and they totally understood my pain, their church represented the kindness acceptance and love that I needed.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I can look back and see it all so clearly now. If only someone had said to me: “Hey Karen, you are OK, you are doing well …getting rid of all the pain and hurt you are feeling now is a gradual process and God will help you and heal you one step at a time.

Just relax … take it easy and try not to be too hard on yourself. Just know that God is kind loving and very gentle. He is well able to take care of you.” It would have been so much easier for me. I feel very strongly that these are the sorts of things that God would rather us to say to people who are struggling. Words that are loving, caring and encouraging. Words to build up not to pull down. So my advice is that sometimes people just need a hug, not a full on lecture.

They are too overwhelmed to take in much of what is said to them anyway. For me especially, a great big hug and words of encouragement is all I needed, that would have been so much better than being told that than “I had sin in my life”. All I needed was a big hug and to be told to have a “Chips and Chocolate day”.

Ok so you are wondering what this chips and chocolate day thing is all about. For those of you who haven’t already guessed, then I will explain it very simply:

1. Take the day off.

2. Only do what is absolutely necessary.

3. Put on a favourite video.

4. Read a good book

5. Do your nails.

6. Do some of the things that you are always putting off, waiting for a time when you are not so busy.

7. Go have a facial, or that much needed …but always put off; “because I’m much too busy”…haircut.

8. Drive to your favourite place and go for a walk.

9. Or if you really want to indulge yourself. Eat all the naughty types of food that you try to avoid...….because if you are like me your are always on a diet.

For me the naughty foods are chips…and you guessed it CHOCOLATE.

So give yourself a break and take the day off. God will still love you if you eat a bag of chips and a whole family block of chocolate. It is OK to take time off. The dishes and the washing will still be there tomorrow. You may find the washing pile is a little higher, but HEY even that won’t seem too bad after you have had a nice indulgent day to pamper yourself, you will have the energy to tackle anything.

So my advice is when the going gets tough, the tough don’t get going…..don’t go grab the broom ….go grab the chips and chocolates. Or as Barbara Johnson says in her book (Boomerang Joy), when the going gets tough -come on over …..hide in the basement with me. But HEY don’t forget to bring the CHIPS and CHOCOLATE. *******************

Oh Yeah…I nearly forgot to tell you that I finally got rid of those domineering influences. Their names were CONDEMNATION and GUILT. They are the sorts of friends you don’t need around when you are struggling. Do you know that even today they still try to come visit and boss me around.

Now when they try to come into my home, I just tell them to get lost.